TALKING VS COMMUNICATING.
YOU DEY SHOUT ON MY HEAD ABEG
"I don’t get it. I just told you how I felt, and you’re acting like I said nothing!"
"Because you didn’t say anything that made sense!"
"So now my feelings don’t make sense to you?"
"That’s not what I meant! You’re twisting my words."
"No, you’re just not listening!"
And just like that, a conversation becomes a battleground. Two people talking, but nobody actually communicating. Words are being said, but they’re not landing where they should. Instead of clarity, there’s confusion. Instead of connection, there’s frustration. Instead of understanding, there’s distance.
Ever been here before? Saying everything that’s on your mind only to feel like you’re completely unheard? Or maybe you hear words but feel like they don’t make sense? It happens in friendships, relationships, at work, and even with God.
Communication is the lifeline of relationships, friendships, workplaces, and even faith. When it breaks down, misunderstandings arise, conflicts escalate, and emotional walls get built. The irony? Most of us assume that as long as we are speaking, we are being understood. But communication is deeper than just words it is the bridge between hearts, minds, and even souls.
Here’s the truth: Talking is easy. Communicating is the real challenge.
You can talk all day and still not be understood. You can hear someone’s words and still not get what they’re trying to say. Because communication is more than just words it’s tone, expression, silence, and even the things left unsaid.
And let’s not forget the biggest game-changer: Communication languages. We all have different ways we process and express things. Some people need words. Some need actions. Some need space. Some need constant reassurance. Some people “fight to fix,” while others withdraw to process. When two different communication styles collide, miscommunication is inevitable.
And here’s the biggest question of all what if you’re talking, but God is communicating in a different way?
Sometimes, we keep praying, asking, pleading, and venting but are we actually listening to His response?
This Wednesday, we’re diving into it all:
The difference between talking and communicating.
The danger of one person talking while the other is actually communicating.
Communication languages because not everyone speaks the same way.
How body language says more than words ever could.
Why silence can be louder than words.
And finally, when you’re talking, but God is communicating something entirely different.
So grab your seat. This one is about to shake a few tables with name tags . And maybe, just maybe, it will change the way you communicate forever
Talking is making noise. Communicating is making sense.
Talking is easy. It’s words, it’s sound, it’s saying something just to fill the silence. But communication requires clarity, intention, and connection.
Some people talk to express themselves, but not necessarily to be understood. Some people hear words but don’t truly listen. Ever had a conversation where someone responded, but you knew they weren’t really “there” with you? That’s the difference.
Communicating is not just about what is said, but what is received. And if the other person doesn’t receive what you meant to convey, did communication really happen?
Real communication happens when:
The message is clear and understood as intended.
Both parties are engaged and present.
The response aligns with the intent.
Emotions and meaning are acknowledged.
Without these elements, talking becomes mere noise, and connection weakens.
The gap between words and meaning.
You meant one thing, but they heard something else.
You were joking, but they took it seriously.
You needed comfort, but they thought you wanted advice.
This is intent vs. perception. What you intend to communicate and what the other person perceives can be two very different things. And without clarity, assumptions will fill the gaps.
People process words based on their experiences, emotions, and even past trauma. So before assuming someone isn’t listening, ask yourself: Did I say it in a way they could understand?
To bridge the gap:
Be clear and precise – Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Seek confirmation – Ask, “What did you understand from what I just said?”
Adapt your approach – Not everyone understands words the same way you do.
The downside of one person talking while the other is communicating.
Some people talk just to talk. Some communicate because they seek understanding. When these two people interact, one person leaves frustrated, and the other remains clueless.
One person feels ignored. The other feels like they’ve already said enough.
One wants deep conversation. The other is fine with surface-level words.
One thinks they’ve resolved an issue. The other is still waiting to be heard.
This misalignment is what makes people say, "I talk, but I don’t feel seen."
Real communication requires both people to be on the same page, emotionally and mentally. If one person is speaking but the other is not truly engaging, the conversation is just an exchange of words with no real impact.
Communication languages: How we express and receive messages.
Not everyone communicates in the same way. Just as people have love languages, they also have communication languages. The way someone prefers to express and receive information can affect how well they understand and engage in conversations.
Some common communication styles include:
Direct vs. Indirect – Some people are straightforward and blunt, while others speak in hints and suggestions.
Logical vs. Emotional – Some prefer facts and data, while others focus on feelings and intuition.
Verbal vs. Non-verbal – Some rely on spoken words, while others communicate more through body language and actions.
Understanding the communication style of the person you’re talking to can help prevent misunderstandings. Ask yourself:
Do they need me to be clear and direct?
Are they responding to logic or emotions?
Are they saying more with their words or with their body language?
When you recognize and adapt to someone’s communication language, conversations become more effective, and relationships grow stronger.
The role of body language in communication.
Sometimes, your words say one thing, but your face, tone, or body say another. Which one do you think people will believe?
Saying “I’m fine” with a clenched jaw and folded arms? Not convincing.
Saying “I’m listening” while scrolling on your phone? Not reassuring.
Saying “I love you” with a distant tone? Not comforting.
Body language makes up over 50% of communication. The words you say might be nice, but if your body disagrees, the other person will pick up on it.
Pay attention to:
Eye contact – It shows engagement or disinterest.
Facial expressions – They reveal emotions even when words don’t.
Tone of voice – How you say something matters just as much as what you say.
The importance of active listening.
Here’s a hard truth: Most people listen to respond, not to understand.
Active listening means:
Being present in the conversation (not half-listening while thinking of your reply).
Repeating back what you understood to confirm meaning.
Asking clarifying questions instead of assuming.
It’s one thing to hear someone’s words. It’s another to truly grasp what they are trying to say.
When you are talking, but God is communicating.
Now let’s go deeper.
We talk. A lot. We vent, we pray, we ask, we demand. But have you ever considered that while you’re talking, God is actually communicating something different?
You’re asking for a relationship to work. But God is showing you red flags.
You’re asking why they left. But God is showing you it was necessary.
You’re asking for a clear sign. But God already gave you multiple.
The problem isn’t always that God isn’t speaking. The problem is that we aren’t listening.
We want God to answer in our preferred communication language clear words, big signs, undeniable confirmation. But sometimes, He communicates through closed doors, delays, inner peace, or even discomfort.
Are you listening? Or are you just talking?
Are You Really Communicating?
Words are powerful, but only when they are understood. This week, check yourself:
Are you just talking, or are you making sense?
Are you listening, or just waiting for your turn to reply?
Are you trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t understand your language?
And most importantly are you hearing God, or are you just waiting for Him to say what you want?
This isn’t just about talking. This is about truly being heard, seen, and understood. And that, my friend, makes all the difference.
See you next Wednesday for another Turn Table series.
